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November 24, 2014

Motivational Monday: How to deal with disappointments

I like to think that I'm a positive, glass half full kind of person. But every now and again, there is a situation (or in my case set of situations) so stressful, so frustrating, so disappointing that I found myself facing a bout of disheartenment, complete with a woe is me attitude.

Frankly I felt quite melancholic (Ok probably not quite as dramatic but I have always wanted to use that word in a sentence J

So I did what was needed at the time, I shut down and completely switched off. Sadly my blog bore some of the brunt of this. I’m sorry guys, but I needed some time off just to feel sorry for myself, lick my wounds and eat lots of ice cream!

Thankfully about a month ago, I had the opportunity to go away for a couple of weeks and whilst I was there, I had the opportunity to people watch for a while and just observe.

I saw people who live in some extremely poor and terrible conditions and in situations that you wouldn’t even want to imagine. But the beauty of it was the spirit of the people, they didn’t feel sorry for themselves, instead they seemed to have a high level of pride in who they are, an attitude of I can do anything and I am going to live life and enjoy what I do have.

I found myself completely humbled by the experience. It was exactly the experience I needed to bounce back, to realise that yes I might have been extremely disappointed and frustrated but that I literally had the whole world in front of me should I choose to go for it.

I also realised that some of the very disappointments I was sad about were actually a complete blessing in disguise.

As I thought about it some more, this is what I l have learnt and would love to share

1      1) Disappointment is not rational, it’s emotional, which is why when others try to talk you out of         whatever mood you have fallen into, it’s so difficult to see the sun in the rain

       2) Take some time out to scream, eat ice cream, cry etc. whatever you need, but put a time limit and don’t linger in your disappointment. There is so much of life in front of you and until you take your eyes off your disappointment, and stop living in your past hurts, you won’t be able to see anything else or start the next chapter of your life. 

     3) I heard the story of a woman who wanted a necklace for Christmas and kept hinting at it to her husband, Christmas came and she got a huge box and on opening it, discovered a dinner set! (Seriously a dinner set!) In her disappointment she looked at one of the plates and then sent the whole set up to the attic. 20 years later, her husband had passed away and she decided to clear out the attic. She spotted the dinner set that she had completely forgotten about and finally starts to unwrap it, and sitting in one of the soup bowls is the beautiful necklace she had so longed for. Don’t be so overwhelmed by your situation that you miss the gift within it.

     4) Take your eyes off your own situation to help a fiend, to help someone else in need etc. The reason for this is that by coming out of your own head and seeing what others are going through, it helps you to realise that others are also going through something and you are not alone.

     5) Only those that dream can be disappointed, but to not dream or hope or to cotton yourself off so as not to be disappointed, is not to live at all.

    6) Finally sometimes not getting that very thing you hoped for is actually the best thing that could happen to you and oftentimes your plan B was actually meant to have been your plan A all along.

Have you ever felt really frustrated or disappointed about something that happened to you? How did you cope with it? Please share in the comments below, it might help someone else.

Thank you for being really patient whilst I pulled my disappearing act and for everyone who checked on me, I really appreciated it.

Hope you have a fantastic week and be encouraged.



Melissa Callaert said...

I always cry first and then I figure that life is better if you fight. :) Great motivation! Thanks for sharing! Come and check mine on themindofanexchange.blogspot.com

Segun Garuba said...

Thanks Melissa :-). You are so right, you have to come back fighting but that time out to cry is always needed. xx

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